.stigma. || version 02

						Layout info: Conceived in Photoshop 6.0, cover image is by me so stealing = you will die (not that you'd be wanting to anyway ^^;). Coding done in FrontPage and notepad. Layout complete 27th January 2003. Brief intro: kiseki, Piscean tiger =P, Australia, aspires to rule the universe and let all fear the Mighty Mallet ^0^v Hobbies: Anime! Volleyball, writing, drawing, reading, making wallpapers, looking at nice art.. Current favourite reads: Manga dark shoujo - Count Cain Manga light shoujo - DNAngel Anime fantasy - X-1999 Anime comedy- Ranma ˝ Ť The Fionavar Tapestry ť Ť The Obernewtyn Chronicles ť Ť Darkfall ť Favourite characters: GW - Duo + Quatre KNO - Sana + Akito AS - Kira + Katou + Zaphkiel FY - Nuriko + AmiSu + Renhou YYH - Kurama + Hiei + Jin RK - Soujirou + Aoshi NAR - Dewey CCS - Yue + Li + Eriol Angelic Layer - Oojirou + Ichirou MKR - Eagle + Lantis Legend of Basara - Sarasa AnC - Yuuhi + Shuro Favourite authors: Isobelle Carmody Victor Kelleher Terry Pratchett Louise Cooper With tribute to: Diarmiud, Darian (Fionavar) Nuriko, Suboshi (FY) Jik (Obernewtyn) Kira, Zaphkiel (AS) Shuro, Chidori, Aki (AnC) Devon (Count Cain) Quiz results: I am like... Count Cain: Cain Hargreaves Anime girl: Miyu (Vampire Princess) Bishounen: Kira Sakuya Anime cliche: Hard-headed female Mystical creature: Phoenix X 1999: Arashi Kishyuu Angel Sanc: Sevi (evil n creepy LOL) Harry Potter: Harry Potter ~~; Inuyasha: Sesshoumaru Magic girl: Utena Obernewtyn: Elspeth Tortall Character: Alanna Legend of Basara: Sarasa I belong in the...the future I am a...storyteller My Tarot is...the Wheel of Fortune I am a...moonflower I am a...mage I ride a...golden dragon Oo?? I was a...philosopher I am an obscure...wombat My Misfit Talent is...Empath-Healer My Enneagram type is...Type 5 My element is...fire archive miles short of a miracle powered by pitas viva forever \|\| belinda solace \|\| fiona Calendar: 20/2 - Bio topic test 21/2 - Phys topic test 24/2 - Maths 2U 27/2 - Maths 3U 05/3 - English Hamlet excursion 06/3 - English 3U due 07/3 - Physics 17/3 - Biology 19/3 - Chemistry, my b'day!! 28/3 - English 2U 11/4 - School ends!!
		at the beginning... Sunday, February 23, 2003 06:02 p.m. Of all tasks, the most difficult is "to begin". But things begin everywhere, all the time, as Fate bears us on Her temperamental tide towards our end. I may have questioned Fate once, and I still question Her now. But silently She leads us - blindfolded and foolish players -along Her unlit stage, never stooping to answer. All stories have a beginning, but all true stories have another tale to tell before it. And another before that, all the way back to the beginning of time. Yet before even then, was there still another lonely heart, another unguided soul...another untold story? My story is one such, that leads without a beginning, and until I die, will leave without an ending. This is my story. This is my life. This is me. HC0538 Call me Rowan. Whew...just a really short prologue to a story I'm planning to do ~~;; I've already done the fantasy, and the medieval-ish style, so I'm going to try the futuristic, but likely as hell it's not going to work. I had intended to use 3rd person form to tell the story, but after the detached tone of "Fealty", which ended up so focused on plot that character work dragged, I decided to go back to first person. It will also be the first time I've used 1st person as a boy and on a character not based on myself, but it should be interesting ^^; I think this prologue really set the tone for his character (which I hadn't decided before I started writing)...As a narrator, he would need to be something of an observer, so there's going to be lots of messy philosophical arguments. I would also like to end this story with a bit of death XD I'm not very good at writing deaths, and I hate writing them because 1. I hate getting rid of characters I like, 2. if it's not a character I like, I can't be bothered spending too much time on their death. Eek. It'll also be nice to look at writing bias and change of perspective. Arrgh...change...~~;; Every time that word is mentioned, everyone gets an ominous look on their face. 2U English does that to people. future outlook Saturday, February 22, 2003 12:12 a.m. Sometimes almost as soon as you step into year 5, people have begun to ask you "What do you want to be when you grow up?" At the time, everything seemed so far away, and so possible, and so achievable. I remembered naively promising to be an astronomer - not knowing the baffling complexity behind the stars. As you grow older, interests replacing interests, your perceptions change, and then all of a sudden, just when you hit the age you're supposed to be decided, you're more undecided than you were 6 years ago. Looking at my subjects now, with 6 units of science and 4 units of English, I think it's a safe bet to say I want to do an arts/science combined course. There's a good chance I want to try out for Liberal Studies at Sydney Uni, it sounds quite interesting...with an arts/science basis and a foreign exchange requirement. Exactly the combination I wanted. My parents want me to do a medical degree, as many Asian parents do, I believe. I think the medical field is misread. Medicine has traditionally been the profession where doctors go in not for profit, but for the sake of saving other people's lives, and call me conservative, but I still hold that belief. Doctors should love the profession, and be willing to dedicate their lives to this great responsibility. They're the people that others should be able to depend on to provide the best treatment because of compassion and sympathy, not because of greed. I think if you can't love your profession, if you can't look at your profession as not just a money-earning device, but also a heavy responsibility, you don't have the right to call yourself a professional of that field. It works for any field...eg. architects should love the buildings they design whilst keeping in mind comfort, safety and durability; accountants and solicitors should realise their advice is depended upon - a recent survey sampled that most management advisors didn't match the standard required ~~; Obviously that's another ideal world that we'll never reach, but the medical profession is so bloated with money these days it's sickening (no pun intended) to think that the people treating us in 10 years time are those who were out for the money, not for the love of healing. There's a great deal of trust the patient has to place in the doctor - personal information, privacy, their lives...etc. I guess when I told my mum that, she sort of changed her mind about trying to force me into Med. I can still go into Med after one year of Lib Studies, but I think only if I find that I am willing to accept the responsibility. Also, I don't want to be another doctor in the big cities where money comes overpriced and doctors outnumber the patients. I want to go where I will be needed. Bleh, another ideal... la la la happy b'day ->insert music notes<- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 10:22 p.m. Yup yup, that's right, it's Subby-kun's b'day today ^0^ And of course, Hokuto-chan, but she's already dead =P The only reason I remember this b'day is because it's exactly 28 days before mine ~~;; Anyway, so I guess Subby-kun is now...28? He was 16 in the 1991 Tokyo Babylon, but I may have gotten my dates wrong. Wow, he's ageing...I wonder if he'll approach seme stage any time soon. Although I still have problems with SxK, I dislike Fuuma enough to vote for that possibility ~~;; Maybe just long enough so Fuuma kicks the bucket. Thanks to Optus' generous 2GB free transfer bonus this month, I'm finally on my way to completing my Angelic Layer collection!! It got licensed halfway through fansub distribution and the project got kicked ~~; Got really pissed since it's pretty much next to impossible to find English anime VCDs here - or maybe I'm just ignorant - and I really didn't want to hear it in dub anyway. Was reading W-Juliet yesterday...the concept of a tomboy and a crossdressing guy together..is just soooo bizarre..I never even bothered contemplating their real sex while I was reading it ~~; Makoto's pretty cool - he can switch between girl and boy really well (and looking really good as both!!). I didn't really like the concept of it though, since acting, especially prerecorded ones, are almost nothing like acting in real life. There's the realism versus the drama...and also in real life there's a lot of quick thinking to do, while in theatre everything is staged and planned. Good actors onstage may not be good actors offstage and vice versa. It's true that people who have had a childhood they didn't like are more likely to be a good actor, using it as a means to escape themselves, but eventually there's some point where you can't let go of yourself anymore. Eh...I don't think I make sense ~~; Having fun downloading the rest of X and Fruits Basket ^^ Furuba's really cute...but I'm still trying to get used to the style of story-telling. It's sometimes quite hard to tell when the anime is taking itself seriously and when it's just parodying the melodrama of other animes (eg. X ^0^) movie conspiracy Monday, February 10, 2003 10:47 p.m. Eesh, of all weeks to schedule good movies, it had to be these two weeks, when all our work are crammed together!!! Look at it. Last Saturday saw Anastasia, Sunday night was a great hobmob of A Bug's Life, Looking for Alibrandi, The beach and Gladiator. Managed to catch the last three movies (even though they were on at the same time). Might I mention Matt Newton is absolutely adorable, albeit not quite John Barton? ^^ Nostalgic of his Mosca role in Volpone I loved his portrayal of Mosca - had it been played out by an older actor, as was the tradition, it would have been far less memorable. He was delightfully sly, one of my favourite underhanded evil people ^0^ Pia Miranda was alright, although how she managed to look 17 at the age of 27 is absolutely beyond me. I didn't like the casting for Jacob - utter ruination of my expectations. The beach wasn't all that great, although I wanted to watch it just to see what all the hype is about surrounding Leo DiCaprio's brilliant acting (which I have yet to spot). I thought it reeked too much of Lord of the Flies, which in itself was a great book (didn't like the film). On the line of film adaptions, there seems to be an equal number of good and bad ones. Lord of the Flies stank, excuse the pun, The Great Gatsby set my teeth on edge, and Pride and Prejudice got incredibly soapy. Interview with the Vampire was actually okay, despite what people say about Tom Cruise's role as Lestat. I thought his interpretation of Lestat was acceptable, although inelegant. Brad Pitt was great as Louis ^^ Sweetness, angst, angst, and more angst from a great-looking actor, what more can you ask? Kirsten Dunst was well-cast as Claudia, but her acting was a little stiff (understandably). Other good adaptions were Romeo + Juliet, which was cleverly done, and also Harry Potter, the casting of which was quite brilliant. I only managed to catch sparing glimpses of Gladiator, it looked interesting, but almost unbearably long. This week brings The Professional with Natalie Portman, You've Got Mail, Saving Private Ryan and The Patriot T___T!! I swear, they're on a conspiracy to make us fail our assessments!! an overdose of loss and work? Friday, February 7, 2003 10:20 p.m. For anyone vaguely informed, the space shuttle Columbia exploded over Texas. How did the astronauts feel in their last few minutes, after the silence began, we'll probably never know. Was it a quick death? Did they feel the crushing pressure of an ill-executed re-entry? Did they count the last seconds in dread, or were they blissfully oblivious? Barely less than 24 hours before this, a train derailed 2 minutes away from Waterfall, crashing into steel stanchions and killing 7 people on board. Cursed number 7? Who knows. I didn't know anyone who were on that train, but still struck home because that had happened during the time when I would be waiting for my train, and it also happened on my line. Even closer to home was the tragic loss of Christie from our grade, who died in the holidays from the brain tumour that has been the cause of her absence for most of last year. She still came to school whenever she could, and I believe everyone admired her courage, which they had every right to do. It must have been painful for her family last year, and perhaps they will have found something more profound than grief. The work bit is overwhelming. I have a proposal of intention for 4U english, an intention of proposal for 3U english, change-related materials for 2U english, biology mini-assignment, lots of chemistry and physics sheets, all due next week. ARGH!!! Week 5 is scheduled for both my 2U and 3U maths exams, and I have an assessment on my birthday. dies I've gotten myself addicted to several new manga/animes. Fruits Basket - with the bizarre concept of Akito as a seme rather than bad-boy-turned-good (Kodocha). Gravitation, which is yaoi, but almost sweet. And Hikaru no Go, which is another shounen manga to my short list of favourite shounens, which includes Yuu Yuu Hakusho and Rurouni Kenshin. Also from Hikaru no Go are 3 new favourite characters: Sai Fujiwarano, Hikaru Shindo (almost too close to Hikaru Shidou for comfort Oo;;) and Akira Touya. I don't usually like main characters, but I've made an exception in this ^^ welcome to your ending road... Thursday, January 30, 2003 04:43 p.m. Well, what can I say but that the school year of 2003 started off with a bang, topped with a searing temperature of 40 degrees celsius, which rendered air conditioning almost ineffectual. Poor year 7's and their great lumping bags hurtling along the corridors, desperately trying to look like they really know their way around when in fact they're following the herd, like sheep. Speaking of sheep, the year of the Sheep officially starts Saturday, yay! Just realised I'm starving because instead of lunch, I had gelato, which was a costly deal. The temperatures in some rooms were so high what little was in my stomach felt like they were fermenting. My brain has certainly fermented into a nice little sponge cake, leading to a rather confused biology lesson where I made too many chromosomes for a model meiosis. School-wise, my timetable consists of a nice number of days of double maths and double english. I don't think I will have any frees. Doing too many units already. At least I'm not doing 4U maths...one class has a brain-deadening 4 out of 5 lessons of maths on Monday. My sincere condolences. As one thing leads to another in the name of condolences, one member of our grade has passed away in illness. We wish her family and friends the best for years to come, with the lovely memory they have of her. moving right along... Tuesday, January 28, 2003 03:08 p.m. Wow, I guess lots of mangakas realised that they should start to wind up their stories after 20+ volumes Oo;; Here's Rumiko Takahashi with her plot mover: boundary between this world and the next (from West of Tokyo). As the translator has guessed last week, it was the grave of Inuyasha's father. I guess then all of a sudden Inuyasha becomes the hunted than the hunter? I wonder what happened to Kikyou, if she really did die. That was really convenient Oo; I bet Rumiko Takahashi decided last minute she couldn't do anything with Kikyou's character and kicked her off. Either that or Kikyou's going to make a major comeback. Hmph. Kikyou's basically been hanging around the cast with ominous forebodings, much like that of Kakyou. Kikyou...Kakyou @____@;;; She's dead, whereas he's pretty much as dead as he can be, apart from actually dying. Anyway, I hope Inuyasha winds up soon as well. It was a nicely balanced mix of action, comedy, romance and some angst, but like Ranma, it got a bit repetitive, even though there was a central plot running through the entire thing. It was also a nicely done love triangle set up between Kikyou, Inuyasha and Kagome (with poor Kouga on the side). I guess it was that, as well as Sesshoumaru being Inuyasha's elder half-brother, which really pulled Inuyasha's character away from the arrogant and self-centred brat that was Ranma. Oh yeah, and those absolutely adorable ears ___ I think Inuyasha has joined my very small list of likeable main characters ^0^ (all for the wrong reasons...) Gah, school starts Thursday. Screwedness. I've still got a tonne of English stuff I have to do. ARGH. I've finished a Count Cain wallpaper. The images were all from the 3rd book, Kafka. It was such a sad story T___T I liked Devon, despite his er, strangeness. The wallpaper turned out a whole lot redder than I wanted. I've spent so much time on it, but I'm still not happy with it. I've noticed with wallpapers I spend lots of time on, I actually don't turn out happy with them. The last time it happened was with the newest X-1999 one (another red and black one). It took me over 2 or 3 days to complete, adding various touches to it the whole time, but in the end I was very dissatisfied. Just the feel...of it, was..off. I'm quite happy with the last Count Cain one, even though the image editting did suck quite extraordinarily. Also another thing, I've used almost 15mbs for wallpapers, and I really don't want to take up Candice's space too much, so sooner or later I'm going to delete some of the older ones, such as the Rurouni Kenshin one (my first and horrible wallpaper), the Angel Sanctuary one and the first Cardcaptor Sakura one. It won't be a great loss, trust me. bloomin' 'ot day it is Sunday, January 26, 2003 05:54 p.m. Yes, boiling, roasting, steaming, whatever you like to call it. Good thing the humidity isn't up high though. Anyway, just felt like blogging because I saw the new updates for X here. Sakura no Yume's so nice, giving deprived X fans a summary of new issues in Asuka every month ^^ Well, finally some movement in plot for X!! After what, 15 volumes of angsty Kamuis and angsty Subarus and angsty Kakyous and evil Fuumas and evil Seishirous and genki Soratas and genki Keichiis, it's finally moving along!! Woohooo! X is a beautiful manga, but I think it thrived on angst too much. All of the characters had a bit of a problem with their past, although each of them reacted differently. I REALLY hope that the manga doesn't end the same way as the anime did. I don't mind Kamui as much as my friends do, they think he's just a replica of Subaru except weaker and less intelligent (Ha! No uke has a good amount of intelligence, not against semes anyway). Still, if you think about what Kamui's been through, it's quite easy to feel sorry for him. Of course, even the pity begins to fade off after 15 volumes... But it's really wonderful how Clamp's art has improved throughout the manga. In the first few volumes, the characters looked erm, a little demented, a bit like MKR art - huge eyes, disproportionate body etc. Now all of the characters look very pretty, although I do wish that Clamp would move Kamui back to his beautiful violet eyes rather than the lavender-blue they give him now. As to what's happening, Subaru's the Sakurazukamori...which we knew about half a year ago. He seems to have gone around doing some rather unlikely things, killing people etc. Totally unlike our beloved Subby-kun, but I digress. Other characters are maturing a little, Arashi has gone off, probably also to DoE. Gah, I don't really understand Clamp's logic about why everyone is moving into DoE. But I WILL kill them if they kill Kamui without killing Fuuma. Hmph! The future hasn't been decided, I bet Kamui's gonna pop out with some ingenious self-sacrifice at the last minute, either that or one of the other characters have a guilt trip. It'll be a real pity when it ends, I'm starting to really love the art and the characters. Damn Clamp for moving so slowly - you've lived with the characters for a few years already, you don't want to lose them all at the end. I really want to get the artbooks, they're so beautiful ____ In my opinion, Clamp's one of the mangakas worth buying artbooks off...I don't really like Kaori Yuki's colour art, they just don't seem to work well with her style. Count Cain's really well done, but her character designs for Cain changed so much and so often it was disturbing. I'm still not used to the new style she's set on Cain. I hope that particular manga finishes soon. I'm sick of epics after Angel Sanctuary and X. webshots rant Friday, January 24, 2003 09:27 p.m. Since I've already ranted 3 or 4 times about this issue, I don't feel like ranting too long any more. Besides, it happened yesterday, and I'm over it already. Yesterday, Webshots notified me that they have received too many lodged complaints about copyright infringement from my wallpapers, because I didn't solely own the characters. Let me say, ahem, WHERE the HELL did they get the complaints from??? Some idle person somewhere clicking away just to report 200 people for copyright infringment when all they're doing is displaying their creativity??? Alright, that's just the start. Next, they tell me they have disabled my community rights, meaning I can no longer display wallpapers as part of my account, so all my wallpapers got deleted. I went to search, and guess what? My wallpapers turn up in other people's accounts!!! WTF??? Right, I get kicked out for recreating someone else's picture into a wallpaper, other people who have stolen off sites and other users are happily there??? So many of the wallpapers have been stolen from AnimeWallpapers.com. One user even says "Images stolen from AnimeWallpapers.com". Great. I don't see their account disappearing. In all honesty though, the issue wouldn't have been warranted so big a rant if my account hadn't been disabled. Certainly, image stealing is not only a problem, it's a very severe dilemma amongst, I think, any sort of community, anime/manga or not. Galleries, winamp skins, wallpapers, avatars, layouts, practically everything gets lifted onto someone else's site. Just because someone has spent hours of effort to produce something beautiful seems to warrant that it is eligible for theft by someone else. Now, speaking of brilliant art, I really love these two sites: Little Bit and Kagaya Gallery. The pictures are so brilliantly CG-ed. Check them out and goggle in marvel.